Sleep

It’s 12:30

Labs, projects, homework oh my

I need to write a paper, I shouldn’t have waited on

Still feel sore from track practice, and I feel like I could die

Be up all night long, till the dusk gives way to dawn

This suffering self-inflicted, why?

Procrastination

What even, all these years still here?

Took it out, cast it aside, forbade it to ever return

But it came back like like a hidden danger invisible but near

Dreams and hopes to work for, move towards, yearn

No more pain to feel, not even fear

Just fatigue

 

Sleep.

 

 

This is the kind of stuff my mind creates at 1 in the morning. Forgive me, I’ve been busy and it’s been difficult to create novel, and heartfelt work. This one is a pattern, rhyming but also shape? It’s a little rough, but it conveys my point.

 

Thx for reading, have a great day

Drained

Fatigue settles in

The fire sputters today

Yet feels warm inside

 

My attempt at a haiku. Really tired two days in a row, so I apologize if sometime my posts are tiring to read/not so creative. I promise it will get better in time, I just struggled to muster the strength even to stay up and write this 😦

This post was inspired by my deadness that I’m feeling as I try to stay awake haha. Although I feel burnt out, I also feel accomplished and that I was productive. I guess the ultimate goal is to do so much poetry that over time it becomes expressive and good quality, as well as easily to me as I write it.

School is back in, so it’s getting more difficult sometimes to make a daily post. I care a lot about this commitment, and I think it’s a major factor in my improvement of writing through the analysis parts after. I’m going to try to continue every day, but please forgive me if sometimes I don’t make it on time such as now when it’s past 12 and into the next day.

 

As always, let me know what you think, and how I can improve my writing & poetry.

Thank you, and have a great day,

No

The day when I can stand tall and say ‘No’

Is the moment when I know I’ve grown wise

I’ll need nothing by my strength to glow

Have no more anguish and pain to despise

 

The day when I’m braver and act with my heart

I won’t let anything quell my hopes and dreams

I have all the resources, the willpower to start

No reason not to start right now, no rationale it seems

 

So why not say no to those who hold us back

They are of no consequence, make your dreams come true

Don’t care about them, don’t let them give you flack

Open your eyes, and act in line with the values you look to

 

 

Hey. So I wrote this piece a little for myself actually. I need to say no a lot more forcefully. I set boundaries with my own morals, with my time, with myself, but sometimes I let others act against this because they aren’t me. However, this can be really unhealthy towards me…and I’m feeling it. I’ve let this unwillingness to stand firm to others be a weakness in myself.

Because of this, I am writing this post at 11:47 instead of 1 hour earlier, or perhaps even earlier. I’ve given my time away on a busy day, because I didn’t say no strongly enough.

For those of you who may struggle with a similar issue, please think about it. Ask yourself what you value, what comes first. Say no if anything comes between what matters to you most, because it’s in the way whether it’s an activity or event, or someone else who “needs” your help. Chance will have it that they asked a dozen other people, and you could spend your time better than stabbing yourself to help them.

Now, perhaps you might consider me overly cynical in this last regard. However, keep in mind I’m not saying be a jerk and ignore everyone who needs your help. Sometimes people are genuine, more often than not, actually. Just…be careful, and value yourself.

 

As always, feedback and discussion is appreciated.

Thanks for reading, and have a great day.

Time Pressed

Sorry I’m a few minutes late today. Busy stuff, didn’t plan out well enough. Anyways, thought I’d try a new style of poetry today, called the limerick.

 

Acting in haste, moving in a hurry

No time to waste, working in a flurry

With all the time in the world, I’d still feel pressed

In total control of the situation, I’d still be stressed

But in the end it comes together, no need to worry

 

The limerick is a 5 line poem where lines 1, 2, and 5 rhyme, and lines 3 and 4 rhyme as well. I guess I messed up a bit, since lines 1, 2, 5, are also supposed to be longer and I accidentally did the opposite… Next time. Try new things I guess

I was working on a chem project with my partner, and all the time in the world seems to not be enough to finish it.  I got so caught up in it, that I didn’t even realize that I hadn’t done my daily post. So today’s post was about my worries in the project, that we won’t get it done by the deadline, that it won’t be good enough.

Honestly, I have faith in myself. I guess I misjudged my partner though, and now I need to do more than I thought I would have to. It’s a group project…I guess we have to pull through sometimes. But along these lines, I look forward to trying other types of poetry rather than alternating lines and short couplets. Expression no matter how powerful can get stale if done in the same form every time, is it not?

Sorry today’s analysis is a little short. It’s 12:30 here, fatigue is kicking in a bit.

Hope you enjoyed this attempt. As always, feedback is appreciated.

 

Thanks for reading, and have a great day.

Essay Practice: Defense of Capitalism

(Atlas Shrugged, practice intro paragraph)

By stating that “no clash of interests among men who do not demand the unearned and do not practice human sacrifices” (478), Rearden exposes the fallacy behind the shallow covering of public good. At this point, Hank not only begins to recognize the driver of injustice in his world, but also how he can fight it through exposing the unspoken evil to the common people. For his whole life, Rearden has worked his way through the world dependent grounded only on his ability and morals, but has subjected himself to the lack of ability in others and their falsehoods of morals. Although he has maintained the spirit of capitalism in himself, he has also left himself defenseless to those who seek to leech off of him in the name of the public good. One cannot survive in a society in which the definition of public good means the utility of unproductive majority at the expense of a productive few.

 

Just an intro for today, I may decide to build upon it in the following days to see if I can make a rough draft. Writing whatever is on my mind is fine most of the time, but it’s good to prepare with set prompts for essay-writing and other skills.

 

Thanks for reading, I’ll try to do some poetry later this week.

Have a great day.

Arrogance

“The tree ripe with fruits bends over in its weight”

An analogy for arrogance, it means that with accomplishments under one’s belt, one becomes overconfident and only aware of their achievements.

For me, I experienced this recently and felt a need to write about it. (Also to let you guys know that I’m still writing, even if not as consistently as I’d hope.) After a few compliments from people, and a good approval from a teacher on an assignment, I got it into my head that I was some incredible writer, and that with ease or effort, my literature would be profound and of high caliber.

This coming from the same person who admitted that likely, the first 500 blog posts would be sad, or mediocre even.

Sometimes we get our heads stuck up our asses. That was me until I got a major essay back. My teacher gave me a B- or C+ on it. This was a 10 page work which I had invested hours into, spent my time dozing off thinking about my analysis. All coming to fruition in a work that was unappreciated, and I felt, improper for the effort.

Of course the first emotion would be indignation. I felt a brief spark, momentarily angry and upset at the rewards for my efforts. Then I remembered that my teacher is a great teacher, and holds her students to a high standard in their work in order to drive them further and to achieve more. She knows that I’ve written good work, and she’s told me honestly when she thought my piece was good quality. Clearly this wasn’t.

I kept my cool, not because I’m that mentally strong. I did it because I realized my goal was to become a better writer, and that my english teacher is a strong writer, and that I have much to learn.

It hurt a bit, but I took a step back and thought for awhile. Yes, I had invested lots of time into this essay. But was it well-spent? Clearly not, and with that realization, I understood that my essay had become too garbled, too broad. I was trying to write a paper on human nature and its essence, when I should have focused on answering the questions that my teacher was asking.

A lot of the content was fluffy, some of my evidence was contradictory, and some of the reasoning was shaky at best.

Only after seeing this, could the grade be understood. The grade received was the grade that it deserved.

Effort does not equate results. In a world where merely good intention and effort is accepted and rewarded and applauded even is a world based on distortion and self delusion. A world which people can take advantage of, as it gives people the excuses to not achieve what they should.

I guess that I’ve been reading too much of Ayn Rand, and her objectivism philosophy is getting to me. I’m more than half way through Atlas Shrugged! Spent several hours today going from page 350-650 haha.

I think that what my english teacher taught me today is that remaining humble, and constantly aware of the objective truth is what matters when acting. Confidence is wonderful, but should never be left untended and allowed to grow uncontrolled into arrogance.

Thank you for teaching me this lesson today, Mrs. H.

 

Thank you for reading today, and I’m sorry it’s been so long. I guess not only do I need to work on my confidence (moderation) but also my commitment to writing every day.

Workaholism

People don’t choose the workaholic life, it chooses them. For some people it’s just their need to feel productive, moving closer to the next goal. Sometimes it’s just to keep one’s mind off of pain in other aspects of life. Ultimately, it can be an approach where you burn violently and then die off, or a productive lifestyle in which you achieve many things in the short time frame that we call life.

Sorry for not posting in a bit, I got caught up in this book called Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. In the text, society has taken a dark turn in which most of the world has become transformed into a faux-socialist place where people act under the guise of benefit for others while condemning those who achieve greatness to leech for their own. The protagonists truly seem to embody the essence of workaholism, where work is their existence and the driving force behind their actions. It shows an extreme representation in which people who’s mentalities are almost psychopathic (showing disregard for the feelings of others) and their conquest to achieve more, and grow their businesses.

However, as time progresses one begins to realize that one of the characters was not always this way. They used to be quick and uncaring, but not entirely cold towards others. After cutting ties with the detriment that the public has become, they manage to begin rebuilding themselves, achieving an immensely productive state in their work, but also finding joy in other aspects of their life.

What this shows us is that although work can be our passion, our joys and motivation, we can also find happiness amongst our peers and colleagues, and in the form of connecting with people. I’m incredibly fortunate to be middle-class, and live in a world where people value advances in the sciences, and free speech and though is encouraged. What Atlas Shrugged has shown me is that we may not always have these things, and that we must use it to our full advantage.

There was a period where I too, tried to be a workaholic. The girl I liked got a boyfriend and was just so nonchalant about it, and I just felt completely broken. It didn’t go down too well, because I grossly neglected my health and after just a week of 7 hour study days I got sick, and lost my motivation.

Work is important…aside from the people we influence, it’s the only thing that we leave behind when we’re gone. But never let it kill you. Stand tall, but know your limits.

 

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day.