First day back, second semester junior year. I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’m headed, what I’ve achieved leading up to now. Sometimes my feelings are challenging to comprehend––jubilation, fear, passionate, pained––fluctuating as the tide.
Some of these milestones are approaching so fast, like the earth rushing up to meet a skydiver (although really, the skydiver is meeting the ground).
In 2 months, I take the March SAT, hopefully for the first and last time as part of the college process.
In 2.5 months, I will assess my results in building relationships and ask a girl to prom. Praying I have the guts to do it, and the friendship to get a yes.
In 3 months, I take the first heavy round of AP tests, with the potential to realize my french est entièrement poubelle among other subjects.
In 5 months, school ends and college apps begin. My future rests on decisions to travel to far away places (not Stanford), and whether a school is willing to accept me.
and before I know it, the first phase of my life will be over. In a blink of an eye, life will change again. It’s times like these that cause us to pause for a moment and realize the indifferent simplicity of reality. The world doesn’t pause or consider the gravity of our personal situations. Time continues to flow, pressing onwards with its insurmountable force. Although we can seize the moment, endeavor to hold it close and swim against time, in the end there is no possibility of gaining ground.
Because of this, perhaps it’s better just to embrace the present. Maybe I should look around, take everything in and live the moment. Even when looking to the future, our only choices are to live in the present, or become lost looking out to the world around us. Yes, we can attempt to observe, predict what comes––and through this process we may navigate to where we wish to be in a future present––but this does not detract from the simple appreciation of the present for what it is.
Tomorrow, I head back to another day of life, pursuing small goals with meaning only to me, working towards larger ones that may hold weight in the eyes of others. But even with how rapidly the moment departs to be replaced by another, I hope to cherish each one, for better or worse.
Thank you for taking part of this contemplation with me,
and have a great day.